Therapist Con Healy drew on his own experience of trauma to help others recognise the signs in their lives.
By Con Healy
It was July 2000. I had just turned 60. I was unemployed after being made redundant from a job I had held since 1988. Was I depressed? No, I had a plan – I was going to become a counsellor. I told my plan to my psychologist (she was my third one). She said it was a good idea and suggested I might process some of the trauma in my life … before becoming a counsellor.
One afternoon I decided to look into my brain and search for anything that my mind found painful.
That list noted 12 events that were biding their time in my “In File”. Within a week, the list expanded to 21. Another search blew the list out to 28.
Wow, there were 28 events in my life that needed to be examined, processed and released.
Examples? How do I feel about being made redundant? How do feel about the weeks of farewells from fellow work mates? (800 of us were made redundant in June 2020). How do I feel about being 60? There as grief/loss from the death of my wife in 2016. A recent prostate cancer scare. What about the Covid pandemic?
Were some event of the List of 28 traumatic? No. Some were.
Trauma is defined as “an emotional and psychological response to deeply distressing or overwhelming events that exceed a person’s ability to cope. It’s not just the event itself, but how the event impacts someone internally – affecting their sense of safety, security, and wellbeing.
With this in mind, I opened my journal and started to write. It took me months to get through the list. It was painful at times. I did feel I had let go of a lot of pain.
It did beg the question: How would a person recognise trauma in their life?
A person may recognise trauma in their life through a combination of physical, emotional, behavioral, and cognitive symptoms that persist after distressing events or ongoing stressors. Trauma can result from one-off incidents (Big T trauma) or ongoing, less obvious stressors (Small-T trauma).
Here are a few things to look for.
Constant tiredness and unexplained fatigue, even after adequate rest.
Headaches or general body aches with no clear medical cause.
Difficulty falling asleep, restless or disrupted sleep.
Unusual physical sensations or increased sensitivity.
Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms
Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, fear, or panic.
Feeling disconnected from emotions or emotionally numb.
Intense anger, irritability, or emotional instability.
Intrusive thoughts, memories, or flashbacks related to traumatic experiences.
Avoidance of reminders (places, people, activities) associated with trauma.
Social withdrawal or isolation; changes in relationships; loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities.
Increased use of alcohol or drugs to cope.
Cognitive and Psychological Changes
Difficulty concentrating or memory problems.
Persistent negative beliefs about self, others, or the world (e.g., feeling damaged, helpless, or unsafe).
Sense of hopelessness about the future.
Self-blame, guilt, or shame, sometimes irrationally believing oneself responsible for the trauma.
Hypervigilance, feeling constantly “on guard” and unable to relax.
Loss of identity or difficulty with day-to-day conversations and activities.
Risky or reckless behaviors, trouble trusting others, or difficulty forming relationships.
Trauma can surface weeks, months, or even years after distressing events. Reactions are highly individualised and can be influenced by a person’s lived experience, coping resources, and support systems. If someone suspects unresolved trauma, speaking with a therapist or mental health professional is recommended.
Do you need help to process your trauma?
Contact: Wisdom with Whiskers Counselling on 0438 559 515.
Email: wisdomwithwhiskers@gmail.com
