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October 18:<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n A forensic technician has recovered data from old computer hard drives. One drive has 54,238 photos. The other 107,000 files. A lot of these are family photos and images of Anna dating back to 1978. It will be interesting to look at these again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n October 26:<\/strong> Woke up flat. Get dressed go for a walk by the ocean. I started walking at my now-normal Zombie pace and sped up as my mood improved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n October 29:<\/strong> What happens now? I am now off The Plan. A few years ago Anna and I were working in getting our son to the end-of-school Higher School Certificate. We were determined nothing was going to get in the way of giving our son as much support as we could. It was a good plan. A grand plan. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Of course, Anna getting brain cancers wasn\u2019t part of the plan. Neither was her dying. My son will finish school and in five weeks he will become 18. He will be classed as an adult. <\/p>\n\n\n\n My days of a being a parent are numbered, in weeks. So \u2013 after 27.5 years \u2013 I will be no longer a parent, merely a father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n October 29:<\/strong> It\u2019s election day. Wandered up to the polling officer to tell them Anna won\u2019t be voting today. Why, they asked? \u201cShe\u2019s dead\u201d … and I walked away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n November 2:<\/strong> There has been something bothering me for the past few weeks, months if I am being honest. And I know it has been kicking around my sub-conscious and my conscious too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, at 7.30am this morning I jumped into the car and headed to the local Tweed Valley Cemetery at Environ and visit Anna\u2019s plot. I hadn\u2019t been there since July \u2026 so I was overdue. I had no idea what I was hoping to achieve there \u2026 but my mind told me to go. So I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe I wanted to drop off some emotional baggage? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe tick another item off my To-Do list. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I was driving through the early morning traffic, watching the clouds hang over the landscape. It was lovely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The car music was on random, it had 350 tracks to choose from (on a plug-in flash drive). <\/p>\n\n\n\n And then the universe intervened. <\/p>\n\n\n\n On came a song by the Brisbane band, The Go-Between. It was their song, “Five Words”. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you have never heard the tune, the opening lines are: \u201cIt starts with a birth stone, and ends with a tombstone\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Well, those word piqued my interest, then the chorus kicked in: \u201cBury them, don\u2019t keep them\u201d. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n That almost made me pull over at the side of the road. The words resonated. (\u201cBury them, don\u2019t keep them\u201d<\/strong>)<\/p>\n\n\n\n They hit me between the eyes. I drove to cemetery knowing the universe had my back. And was sending me a message \u2013 \u201cLet go. Move on.\u201d (Click on the link below.)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n The visit went well, left a rose from the garden \u2026 and went to work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Feel a lot better now. Feel relieved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n MYTH:<\/strong> The pain will go away faster – if you ignore it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fact:<\/strong> Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n MYTH:<\/strong> It\u2019s important to be \u201cbe strong\u201d in the face of loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fact:<\/strong> Feeling sad, frightened or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn\u2019t mean you are weak. You don\u2019t need to \u201cprotect\u201d your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n MYTH:<\/strong> If you don\u2019t cry, it means you aren\u2019t sorry about the loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fact:<\/strong> Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it\u2019s not the only one. Those who don\u2019t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n MYTH:<\/strong> Grief should last about a year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fact:<\/strong> There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n www.caredimensions.org<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/DSC_5967a-01-1024x683.jpeg\")
<\/figure>Grief: Myth versus fact<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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