{"id":652,"date":"2022-05-29T22:14:03","date_gmt":"2022-05-29T22:14:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/?p=652"},"modified":"2022-05-30T05:13:02","modified_gmt":"2022-05-30T05:13:02","slug":"introduction-farewell-my-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/?p=652","title":{"rendered":"Introduction: Farewell my love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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WHERE’S THE COFFEE?:<\/strong> Anna pictured in the weeks before her death in June 2016.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Words from a funeral<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

July 4, 2016:<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

GOOD morning everybody. Welcome to Anna\u2019s funeral, her farewell.  Standing here this morning I am certain of one thing, Anna would love to have been here. She would have loved to have a chat with each of you. Anna would have hugged you and wished you good luck for the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We had planned a pre-wake Wake, where everybody would be invited to say goodbye to her \u2013 while she was still alive. Sadly, Anna and I ran out of time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just two weeks ago, Anna was enjoying coffee and cake and a seaside stroll at Kirra. It was then we \u2013 Anna and I \u2013 had our first inkling that something was wrong.  At one point the pain across her body was so bad Anna suggested going to the hospital. By the time we got back to the car, the pain had eased and she changed her mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We went to the hospital the next day, she was admitted. For the first five days Anna fought on. Then her body gradually began to give up the fight. Her mind battled on \u2013 just minutes before died, Anna\u2019s eyes were still moving \u2013 she was still processing thoughts and dreams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then \u2013 at 6.35pm \u2013 cancer finally overcame Anna and she died.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As most people know, a priest had given Anna the Last Rites that morning. We \u2013 her family \u2013 got to thank her and to say farewell. It was emotional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anna\u2019s final hours \u2013 which I am sure registered in her brain \u2013 were filled with joy and laughter. Just as she would have wanted.<\/strong><\/p>Conal Healy, Grief survivor<\/strong><\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Then began The Final Wait.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It would be respectful to say we sat in respectful silence, but we didn\u2019t. We drank coffee, ate pies and cakes, started telling jokes. Telling bad jokes. We joked with Anna. We did a giant crossword collectively, encouraging Anna to give us an answer. We stroked her arm. We held her hand. And we laughed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sure we laughed too long and too loud. I imagine many people thought there was a party in Anna\u2019s room. And there was. Anna\u2019s final hours \u2013 which I am sure registered in her brain \u2013 were filled with joy and laughter. Just as she would have wanted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anna\u2019s battle with cancer began in April 2014 when they found cancer growing in her lung.  It was a nasty one. A killer. Those were the days when we cried and hugged each other tightly \u2013 we were both afraid of what was to come.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
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LOOKING HEALTHY:<\/strong> Anna – a force of nature.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Anna\u2019s first day at the Tweed Hospital chemo clinic set the tone for the next three years. As the toxic medicine flowed into her arm, Anna and I ate cake, drank coffee, played cards and took photos. Anna joked with the nursing staff \u2026 and asked for more cake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that chemo clinic most patients were happy to sit, read a book, or do a crossword puzzle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not Anna. Anna would get bored and wander around the room \u2013 talking to people. She would get them talking \u2026 sit down and have a chat. It was part of the therapy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After three hours (sometimes six hours) of chemo, Anna would hop in the car and drive herself to her radiotherapy appointment at John Flynn Hospital and then come home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My job? To provide Anna with a nice cup of tea, a warm blanket and a hot water bottle when she arrived home. (Oh, and cook dinner too.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anna rarely stopped. She got the chemo clinic to delay treatment, so she could go whale watching (with her sister-in-law). Anna got the radiotherapy clinic to hold an appointment \u2013 so she could go fly over the Tweed Valley in a glider.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We were happy when Anna went into remission later that year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anna faced breast cancer last year with similar courage. She tackled the surgery and radiotherapy, knowing the dangers she faced. After her final appointment, Anna came home and planted seeds for flowers that would grow the following spring. Where there is life, there is hope.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In January (2016), Anna collapsed at home. It was Australia Day. CT scans at the Tweed Hospital revealed two golf-ball sized tumors growing in Anna\u2019s brain. She had lost control to her leg and arm. The doctors said: \u201cShe has days to live. Not weeks\u201d.  The medicos at the Gold Coast University Hospital agreed. Their colleagues at the Tweed Cancer Clinic agreed. There was no point doing chemo, radiotherapy or surgery. Anna was terminal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being honest, the bottom dropped out of world when I heard this news. I had to break the news to our families, Anna was a goner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A junior doctor told me: \u201cThe scans look terrible. The only thing keeping her alive is her spirit\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We prepared for the worst.  We told Anna many times, and in many ways, that her days with us were nearly over. The forms were filled out to transfer Anna to a nearby hospice – it was only a matter of time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I remarked at the time, Anna didn\u2019t get that memo. Almost 10 days of brain steroids were having an effect. Anna was sitting up, talking, chatting to people, eating pizza and ordering Thai takeaway. Three days later and the doctors realized Anna wasn\u2019t going to die. They provided radiotherapy and Anna started to recover. In fact, she recovered enough to be sent home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The day Anna learned to stand on her own two feet was the day she graduated from Southern Cross University with her teaching degree. She arrived in a wheelchair, but found the strength to stand for the ceremony. It was one of the proudest moments of her life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anna was a mature aged student when she started her degree \u2013 she hadn\u2019t been inside a classroom in almost two decades. She had her job as a Lolly Pop Lady at a local school and was also raising two children. What few people know is that Anna was dyslexic. She suffered from bi-polar depression, endured and was a diabetic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet Anna managed to overcome all these hurdles (and many, many more) in her fight for the teaching degree. Anna\u2019s plan was to become a \u201cspecial needs\u201d teacher. Being dyslexic herself, gave Anna an insight to the role. Despite everything she had been through, Anna was still determined to get better \u2013 to regain her full health. Sadly, it was not to be. Cancer had other plans for her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On June 19, Anna started to lose mobility, then the pains began. By June 23 she was admitted to Tweed Hospital where Anna died peacefully a week later, surrounded by family and friends in a room full of laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anna was brave, courageous, determined and stubborn. Sometimes, she was very stubborn indeed. She has been described as a force of nature. She tended to speak first, and think later. If you had a problem with Anna, well that tended to be YOUR problem \u2026 not hers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Inside Anna was different:  She was a kind, loving mother, an artist, a photographer, but Anna was also somebody who questioned herself. She was a person who lacked self-confidence. She didn\u2019t believe in herself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anna talked about her magical Work Hat \u2013 as soon as she put on her RMS uniform she became a different woman. She became a Superwoman \u2013 and God help anybody who came between her and any of the children who used her school crossing at the primary school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thank you, Anna for those final 150 days. Thank you, Anna for the last 39 years. That was many things, but never boring. Farewell my love. Travel well until we meet again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anna died on June 28, 2016, at 6.35pm. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n
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Afraid of snakes? Not Anna.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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No hair … but Anna always had a hat to spare.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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Ready to snap a photo.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
THE MANY FACES OF ANNA: Photos from the family photo album.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

CT scans at the Tweed Hospital revealed two golf-ball sized tumors growing in Anna\u2019s brain. She had lost control to her leg and arm. The doctors said: \u201cShe has days to live. Not weeks\u201d.\u00a0 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[31,33,10,11,22,32,34],"class_list":{"0":"post-652","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-diary-of-a-grieving-husband","7":"tag-brain-cancer","8":"tag-breast-cancer","9":"tag-cancer","10":"tag-grief","11":"tag-loss","12":"tag-lung-cancer","13":"tag-tumors"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=652"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1042,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652\/revisions\/1042"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=652"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=652"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=652"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}