{"id":2984,"date":"2024-12-02T04:33:10","date_gmt":"2024-12-02T04:33:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/?p=2984"},"modified":"2026-03-20T04:24:44","modified_gmt":"2026-03-20T04:24:44","slug":"are-family-dramas-ruining-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/?p=2984","title":{"rendered":"Are family dramas ruining Christmas?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

SPECIAL REPORT<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

School is over for the year, Christmas is coming, the summer holidays are about to start \u2026 and the family get togethers are looming. Here are some tips for surviving the Christmas and summer holiday season<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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By Hannah Owens<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christmas and the summer holiday season is a time of festivities, family, and fun \u2014 or at least, it\u2019s supposed to be. But what happens if the \u201cfamily\u201d part of the equation negates the other two? Tensions can run high in families during the holidays, and often results in lots of family drama. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how to deal with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Preparation Before the Holidays<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2018Family drama\u2019 has a pretty wide definition, which could range from \u2018We disagree on many things\u2019 to \u2018I am concerned my relatives will be abusive to me,\u2019\u201d explains clinical psychologist Amy Marschall, PsyD.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you think that there might be any drama with your family during the holidays, it\u2019s best to emotionally prepare ahead of time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, set realistic expectations. If your family always fights, don\u2019t think that somehow, magically, this year will be different. Base your expectations on what has happened in the past. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This way, you won\u2019t be disappointed when your mom starts screaming at your father for burning the turkey and your cousin baits your very religious aunt by showing up with yet another back tattoo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Identify and set personal boundaries:<\/strong> Basically, know your limits, and \u201cknow that you have the right to set whatever boundaries needed in order to feel and be safe,\u201d advises Dr. Marschall. \u201cThis might include simply not attending certain events. If you do choose to attend, determine your boundaries beforehand – under what circumstances will you leave? What topics will you not be discussing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember, you are allowed to retreat<\/strong>: If things become too much to handle, or you find yourself embroiled in conflict, remove yourself and go somewhere quiet and alone. Even if you only get a minute to yourself, this can help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you know that certain subjects always bring the heat, avoid them. And if you can\u2019t, prepare yourself emotionally for the drama that will ensue. Getting caught off-guard just makes the drama worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try to anticipate what might happen in certain situations, and plan accordingly. Are you up for trying to calm everybody down? Or is it better for you to go somewhere else in the house when things get riled up? This might be one of those \u201chope for the best, expect the worst\u201d scenarios.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Though it may seem unavoidable, there are strategies you can use to manage family drama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Setting and Maintaining Boundaries<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Boundaries are extremely important to maintain in any family situation, but especially if your family is prone to drama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDecide beforehand what your boundaries are, specifically. That is how you will know if they are crossed,\u201d says Dr. Marschall. \u201cAre there topics you will not discuss, comments you will not tolerate, etc? Next, you need to communicate these boundaries. Someone cannot honor a boundary they are not aware of.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be very clear with your family upfront if there are certain subjects that are taboo for you. Don\u2019t want to talk about work? Let your family know that, and don\u2019t give in when they pressure you about it. Don\u2019t feel like dealing with the constant questions about your love life? Be clear that this subject is off-limits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can say something like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  • \u201cI don\u2019t feel like talking about that right now.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
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    • \u201cI\u2019d like to keep that private for now.\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n
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      • \u201cNothing new to report!\u201d<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

        Or you can change the subject. Maybe try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n