{"id":1880,"date":"2023-02-03T02:29:34","date_gmt":"2023-02-03T02:29:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/?p=1880"},"modified":"2023-02-03T02:31:30","modified_gmt":"2023-02-03T02:31:30","slug":"how-to-tell-if-someones-really-flirting-with-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/?p=1880","title":{"rendered":"How to tell if someone’s really flirting with you"},"content":{"rendered":"[vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overflow=”visible” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” column_element_spacing=”default” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” column_position=”default” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1\/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” animation_type=”default” bg_image_animation=”none” border_type=”simple” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid”][vc_column_text]\r\n

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, people may start to think romantically. Are you looking for love? Is love looking for you? Is somebody flirting with you? Wendy L. Patrick looks at flirting and discovers it not what a person say … it it how they say it.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n


<\/p>\r\n

\"\"\r\n
FLIRTING OR FRIENDLY: <\/strong> What are the signs that somebody is romantically interested in you?<\/figcaption>\r\n<\/figure>\r\n

\r\n\r\nBy Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., Ph.D.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n




<\/p>\r\n

MOST people have been there. Surprised at the sudden or unexpected attention bestowed by a friend, neighbor, or co-worker, you wonder what it means. No one wants to jump to the wrong conclusion.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nBut is there a good way of determining whether an acquaintance is flirting or just friendly?<\/p>\r\n




<\/p>\r\n

Research has some answers.<\/strong><\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nSometimes, an acquaintance makes a statement that, while not a \u201ccome on,\u201d is definitely an unsolicited compliment \u2014 about something personal, not professional. They are apparently impressed not by your aptitude but by your appearance.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nOr are they?<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nNot wanting to overanalyze or jump to conclusions, you can\u2019t help but wonder if your friend, neighbor, or co-worker is interested in getting to know you better.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nBut when attempting to decipher ambiguous messages, context matters.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nResearch sheds some light on the delicate dance of discerning and detecting signs of flirtation.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nJennifer A. Wade (2018) reviewed flirtation research, which she notes has largely been examined from a socio-cognitive perspective and has prioritized self-reports as opposed to overt behavior.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nShe begins with the usual definition of \u201cflirtation,\u201d which she notes refers to behavior that includes words, body language, or physical contact designed to initiate or maintain romance or a physical relationship.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nYet she recognizes the ambiguity \u2014 what type of behavior is actually flirtatious?<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nAfter all, we know people who are just friendly and often misunderstood. Wade dives deeper into the analysis, focusing on the power of words.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nIn addition to proposing a behavior-analytic perspective to flirtation, Wade highlighted the importance of autoclitics \u2014 characteristics of a verbal response that impact the way a listener reacts to the rest of the verbalization. In other words, how something is said is an important aspect of the effectiveness of a flirtatious act.<\/p>\r\n


<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

“…suggesting \u201cyou and I should grab coffee sometime\u201d was more successful than \u201cwe should grab coffee sometime.\u201d “<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n\r\nReconceptualizing flirtation as both verbal and non-verbal behavior, Wade examines such behavior through a lens of behavior analysis.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nShe gives the example of an English-speaking population viewing the statements \u201cYou are pretty\u201d and \u201cI think you are pretty\u201d as functionally equivalent but notes they may impact a listener differently.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nWade cites previous research on varying pronouns relating to self and others, which found that the autoclitic function of \u201cyou and me\u201d was apparently more successful in prolonging conversation and potentially leading to setting a first date as compared to using \u201cwe.\u201d<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nIn other words, she explains that suggesting \u201cyou and I should grab coffee sometime\u201d was more successful than \u201cwe should grab coffee sometime.\u201d<\/p>\r\n




<\/p>\r\n

Do women and men view flirting differently?<\/strong><\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nWade notes that researchers using scripts of flirtatious acts report that women are more likely to describe flirtation as a method of \u201chaving fun\u201d or maintaining a relationship, while men view flirtation as \u201csex-directed.\u201d Yet we know those goals do not always characterize the way (or reason) people interact with potential partners.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nWhether awkward or articulate, romantic interest is expressed through authentic interest, period.<\/p>\r\n



\r\n\r\nHappy, healthy relationships are often just that simple, often between two people that have no idea how to \u201cflirt\u201d but just know they love being together.<\/p>\r\n


<\/p>\r\n

\"\"\r\n
GAME ON:<\/strong> People love being together.<\/figcaption>\r\n<\/figure>\r\n


<\/p>\r\n

\r\n
https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/why-bad-looks-good\/202207\/how-to-tell-if-someones-really-flirting-with-you?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost<\/div>\r\n<\/figure>\r\n[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you looking for love? Is love looking for you? Is somebody flirting with you? Wendy L. Patrick looks at flirting and discovers it not what a person say … it it how they say it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[77,83,82,1],"tags":[80,156,157],"class_list":{"0":"post-1880","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-dating","7":"category-life-hacks-2","8":"category-relationship","9":"category-uncategorized","10":"tag-flirting","11":"tag-love","12":"tag-romance"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1880","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1880"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1880\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1896,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1880\/revisions\/1896"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1880"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1880"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wisdomwithwhiskers.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1880"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}